On the additional bank holiday of 19th September 2022, Michelle, like many other Brits, was sitting in her living room watching the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II.
From the comfort and safety of a leisurely day at her Middlesbrough home, Michelle – a name we have given her to protect her true identity – was blissfully unaware of how her peace was about to be broken.
A male friend she had trusted for years and enjoyed many nights out with, called and asked if she wanted to go out later that night.
When they arrived at a bar in town, Michelle said: “Nothing felt quite right. I had a bad feeling.”
She went on to say: “Two lads I didn’t know came to sit with us for a bit and it bothered me. I found it very odd.”
After Michelle drank a drink her friend bought her, she said: “I literally don’t remember anything else in the bar – nothing.”
Michelle said: “I woke up about four hours after and I couldn’t stand up- I couldn’t move.
“I was in my underwear on a bed and it took me about 45 minutes to an hour until I could make my legs move.”
Michelle said during this period of temporary paralysis, she remembers her friend firstly being next to her on the bed, before running in and out of the room in what she described as a paranoid manner.
She said she could hear him talking to other males when he left the room. She realised she was in a hotel room and knew something was wrong.
She said she began seeing flashes of “different lads” staring at her on the bed and began to remember being sexually assaulted by more than one person.
When Michelle was able to get up off the bed, she said her friend left. She said it sounded like there were other males walking along the corridor with him.
She described being “confused” and “shellshocked” but said as soon as she was able to, she also left.
When she got home Michelle said she didn’t know what to do. She said what made it worse was that she was unclear about exactly what happened.
“That part of it was horrible”, she said.
After phoning the rape crisis line, Michelle was advised to go to the sexual assault referral centre (SARC) at North Ormesby health village.
Michelle said they took her clothes and carried out forensic medical exams. She said she was given a vaccine for hepatitis B and HIV and was offered the morning after pill.
Although she told the nurses she didn’t want to report her assault to the police, they reassured her they would bag the evidence they had collected and keep it in case she changed her mind over the coming months.
Michelle also declined their offer to refer her for counselling. She said: “I just wanted to bury it. It was easier for me.”
Michelle said along with not wanting to relive the assault over and over again, another reason for not wanting to speak to police about her ordeal was because of how hazy her memory is about it all.
“And I’m no angel,” she said. “If it got to court, I don’t want the defence dragging up my past and trying to make out like I’m a bad person.
“So that was it. I just had to move on and get on with my life. It is only now, a few years later, that I will talk about it because I didn’t want to at first. It was too hard.”
In the days that followed her assault, Michelle said she continued to have flashbacks and was trying to jigsaw the night together.
She said: “The uncertainty was eating away at me.”
To try to make sense of what occurred that night, Michelle said she went back to the hotel to speak to the manager.
She said the manager told her there had been four rooms booked out that night in her friend’s name.
She said she began to hear rumours that he owed money to “some dodgy lads” and claimed she was openly threatened to keep her mouth shut.
Michelle said she will never truly know what happened that night or why. She is just trying to piece together everything she can remember, along with gossip she has heard.
She believes her friend used her to get out of part of a debt he owed. She said: “This lad, I know him. I still see him.
“Sometimes I can feel my heart racing when our paths cross and sometimes I freeze and completely forget where I am or why I’m there.
“I don’t think he did anything physically to me. But he’s the one that got me there.”
Michelle believes there were multiple men in the four rooms that were booked out that night.
She said: “I was out cold for around three or four hours. I don’t know how many lads were walking in and out in that time.
“Was it two? Was it seven? Was it 10? I don’t know how I feel about that. But maybe if I actually knew, I would be devastated. So maybe it’s best.
“What I do believe is it was pre-meditated. They had it planned.”
Michelle said part of her reason for believing this is because when her results came back, they showed GHB, commonly known as the date rape drug, in her system.
Michelle said some of the men she believes assaulted her have a long history of criminal activity in the area.
She said: “They haven’t got a very good name. They are scum. Horrible people.
“These lot are a different breed. I could see them being capable of anything if I’m honest.”
Michelle said the assault has had an overwhelmingly negative effect on her mental health and her day-to-day life.
She said: “Even though I think I know who some of my attackers are, I still think there was others that I don’t know.
“I have to walk round this town every day and my anxiety cripples me sometimes. I don’t know what is worse. The ones I know about or the ones I don’t.
“I look at lads and wonder, was it you? Every time I hear a group of lads laughing, I think they’re laughing at me.”
Michelle went on to say: “I find it difficult to trust people now and it’s completely changed me as a person.
“I just want to be happy again- but I don’t know if I ever truly will be.”
Cleveland Police Detective Superintendent Helen Barker said: “Whilst this incident has not yet been reported to us, we do understand how difficult it can be to report an incident like this and we can take a report at any time.
“We would always urge anyone who has been a victim of rape or sexual assault to please report it to Cleveland Police on 101. No matter the passage of time, we will look to carry out a full and thorough investigation, whilst protecting victims and offering support through our partner agencies.
“Alternatively, Crimestoppers can be contacted anonymously online at www.crimestoppers-uk.org or by calling 0800 555 111.
“Anyone who has experienced a sexual offence can also contact Teesside Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) regardless of whether or not the offence has been reported to the police.”
SARC provides 24- hour crisis intervention and a range of options. SARC works in partnership with local specialist services (such as Barnardo’s and Arch) and can access support on your behalf. SARC crisis workers are available on 03333448283 at any time of day or night.
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this story, help is available below:
A Way Out: http://www.awayout.co.uk
SARC: www.sarcteesside.co.uk
Barnardo’s: http://www.barnardos.org.uk
